Getting Blocked On Facebook: Being Ok With Social Rejection

It’s the middle of April and although you don’t remember the exact date, you know an anniversary is approaching for someone you care about. You flip through last years calendar to see if their wedding ceremony was still there. Dang it. It must have been put on the pocket calendar you tossed out on New Years. You call your mom and your moms sister, and pester your husband. No one remembers the exact date.

It drives you bat-shit crazy for a few days before you have an “ah-ha!” moment. Facebook has all their wedding pictures and posts. You will scroll through and find their wedding date, wish them a happy anniversary and feel as if you’ve done right by them. You love them. After being distracted by a few updates from friends you type in the name you’re wanting to look up. No one comes up. That’s odd. You go into your messages and find a message from a year ago, a discussion about potluck dinners and family reunions. You click their profile from that message and all you see is a “page not found” screen. It’s hard to tell if they deleted their Facebook page completely or if they blocked you. You’re 99% sure they just left Facebook but that 1% doubt is nagging you.

Life has become impersonal and you start to feel grateful for the chance to send an actual card to wish them a nice anniversary. You pen a handwritten note, expressing well wishes and letting them know you’d like to see them more often. “Come out to my new house and lets have dinner”, you say. About a week later, you send a text to make sure the card got there OK and to reiterate that you’d love to have them over. Life is busy. There are dishes to do, kids to drive around, meals to cook, appointments to make…

Surely you would have been notified if they died. Maybe they’re dead. Maybe they blocked you on Facebook. Maybe they’re on vacation. Maybe they blocked you on Facebook. Your son has nothing to hide. He’s a teen but still mostly innocent. His Facebook page is hardly used and he will often stay logged in on the family computer. You open his page and type in the name you’ve been looking for. There she is. Still married. You scroll down her page a little while. Maybe you missed the anniversary by a mile and got blocked? No, the anniversary was just a few days before. Your card and text would have arrived early. You log out and log back into your own page. Still blocked.

You’re angry and you cry for just a few minutes. You rack your brain for anything offensive you may have done. You wonder why people just give up on relationships  and family. Outwardly, your quiet, but your heart and mind scream with hurt and anger. Days go by and your sadness dwindles. You send a card to a far-away friend just because, and are excited to see she sent one in return. You smile at a crying baby and she stops crying just long enough to smile back. You work extra hard and make a little extra to treat yourself to one of those fancy coffees. You continue to treat the people you care about with respect and allow them to decide if they want you in their life. Life goes on and before you know it a new friend request pops up on your phone, another mom from nearby. You accept. Life goes on and you continue doing your thing.

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