Getting Blocked On Facebook: Being Ok With Social Rejection

It’s the middle of April and although you don’t remember the exact date, you know an anniversary is approaching for someone you care about. You flip through last years calendar to see if their wedding ceremony was still there. Dang it. It must have been put on the pocket calendar you tossed out on New Years. You call your mom and your moms sister, and pester your husband. No one remembers the exact date.

It drives you bat-shit crazy for a few days before you have an “ah-ha!” moment. Facebook has all their wedding pictures and posts. You will scroll through and find their wedding date, wish them a happy anniversary and feel as if you’ve done right by them. You love them. After being distracted by a few updates from friends you type in the name you’re wanting to look up. No one comes up. That’s odd. You go into your messages and find a message from a year ago, a discussion about potluck dinners and family reunions. You click their profile from that message and all you see is a “page not found” screen. It’s hard to tell if they deleted their Facebook page completely or if they blocked you. You’re 99% sure they just left Facebook but that 1% doubt is nagging you.

Life has become impersonal and you start to feel grateful for the chance to send an actual card to wish them a nice anniversary. You pen a handwritten note, expressing well wishes and letting them know you’d like to see them more often. “Come out to my new house and lets have dinner”, you say. About a week later, you send a text to make sure the card got there OK and to reiterate that you’d love to have them over. Life is busy. There are dishes to do, kids to drive around, meals to cook, appointments to make…

Surely you would have been notified if they died. Maybe they’re dead. Maybe they blocked you on Facebook. Maybe they’re on vacation. Maybe they blocked you on Facebook. Your son has nothing to hide. He’s a teen but still mostly innocent. His Facebook page is hardly used and he will often stay logged in on the family computer. You open his page and type in the name you’ve been looking for. There she is. Still married. You scroll down her page a little while. Maybe you missed the anniversary by a mile and got blocked? No, the anniversary was just a few days before. Your card and text would have arrived early. You log out and log back into your own page. Still blocked.

You’re angry and you cry for just a few minutes. You rack your brain for anything offensive you may have done. You wonder why people just give up on relationships  and family. Outwardly, your quiet, but your heart and mind scream with hurt and anger. Days go by and your sadness dwindles. You send a card to a far-away friend just because, and are excited to see she sent one in return. You smile at a crying baby and she stops crying just long enough to smile back. You work extra hard and make a little extra to treat yourself to one of those fancy coffees. You continue to treat the people you care about with respect and allow them to decide if they want you in their life. Life goes on and before you know it a new friend request pops up on your phone, another mom from nearby. You accept. Life goes on and you continue doing your thing.

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Cherry Festival in The Dalles: My 1st Time While Living in The Gorge

I had just missed living in The Dalles last year during the Northwest Cherry Festival. The excitement for the event is evident in the community. The checker at Safeway brought it up, my server at Mama Jane’s also mentioned it. I’ve been anxiously awaiting the celebration this year.

While my family won’t be taking part in every event, I am excited to attend the parade, carnival and the St. Mary’s Singing Idol. I have mentioned before that I moved here from Portland, and the Northwest Cherry Festival seems somewhat similar to Portland’s Rose Festival. As a younger adult I tried to attend as many Rose Festival events as possible. It was always such a special time,  and definitely the buzz of the city. As the city grew, I felt my interest and enjoyment waning for the activities. Insane crowds are just not my thing! I need to be able to breath without a stranger in my face. Yes, folks, Portland is that crowded.

While the festival events in The Dalles are smaller, they are easier to enjoy.  The event line-up can be found on the Chamber’s website.

Since I moved to The Dalles in July, I’ve really been struggling with my diet and weight. Events typically throw me off any good streak I’m having. It seems I have next to no self control. Please send positive vibes for me. Lord help me if I get a whiff of an elephant ear – It’ll all be over!

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Moving to The Dalles, Oregon: A Beginners Guide

Unlike me, you may have carefully thought out your move to another city. You may have prepared ahead of time and thought of all the details. Me? I found myself swimming in a sea of waves, desperately trying to grasp anything that would help me to stay afloat.

First, if you have any health issues, schedule an appointment to establish ASAP. Do not wait. Even if you are 100% healthy, still establish with a provider in the area. Myself, I didn’t do this and could not be seen for the life of me, as I hadn’t “established” with a primary care provider yet. I got a simple sinus infection and because I couldn’t be seen, ended up with a fat ER bill. I should also mention that I called every health care provider in the area and most establishing appointments go out 6-8 weeks. A few places even quoted me 4+ months. I’m not sure if there is inadequate healthcare services here or what, but this is not normal from where I came from.

This is a small town and therefore you have less choices for things you want to see, do and buy. It’s the sacrifice you make for living in a beautiful, affordable, mostly friendly town. There are many things I have on my must-have list that I simply cannot find in The Dalles, or if I do find it, its quite a bit more expensive. Amazon and Vitacost (order using this link and get a FREE $5 to spend at Vitacost) are my best friends! I order a lot of my must have’s from these 2 companies. About once a month I place an Amazon order for one of their pantry boxes. I have a large family so I like stocking up on the things we use regularly and having it delivered to my front door. The price is pretty comparable to shopping here in town.

Along those same lines, don’t think you’re going to be able to buy clothing here. You MIGHT be able to, just don’t count on it. Currently, the options are JC Pennys (closing down), Fred Meyer, Maurice’s and a few thrift stores. I need more choices and not because I’m picky! I’m an odd shaped woman and it usually takes me trying on multiple brands of something before I find the perfect fit. Too bad I can’t just call in a pants order to the factory. “I’ll take jeans with a size 10 waist, size 16 ass and size 12 thighs, OK thanks!”. Needless to say, clothing shopping for myself has been unsuccessful in this town. I did find a few cute things at Maurice’s, but I wasn’t happy with the price or the quality. The charge a lot for clothing that’s similar to the quality of Forever21 (AKA junk/shit/disposable clothing). For clothing, I’ve found a trip to Portland a necessity. Luckily, I don’t buy new clothing very often.

My intention is not to make this a negative post about The Dalles. I love it here. I never want to leave. It’s more to make you’re transition smoother than it was for me. In an effort to keep things running smoothly in your life, call the cable and internet provider AS SOON AS YOU KNOW YOUR NEW ADDRESS. Set up an appointment for the day you move. I know you probably have a lot of other stuff going on, but you will not regret setting aside a few moments to let the technician inside to do their thing. Cable install technicians are apparently super busy in this area and if you don’t plan ahead it may be weeks before you are able to get service. I was without internet and cable TV for nearly a month when I moved here. I could live without Cable TV but since I didn’t have internet I was without Netflix, YouTube and all the things I love.

Lastly, join some groups! Meetup.com is a neat place to explore local groups of people that meet up locally. It’s easy to move to a new place and become isolated if you don’t get out there and make some friends! Of course, if you have a job, you can meet people there also. For me, I am a mom that works from home and that made it a bit harder for me to meet people. There is a great Facebook group called The Dalles Happening that I get lots of local information from. I don’t usually chime in much but I like to read the posts and get a feel for whats going on. As a newbie, I didn’t really ‘get’ the local jokes. For instance, locals always say something about a Walmart or Olive Garden will be opening up – I thought this was real at first and got super excited. Well, come to find out, it’s just this ongoing joke. I don’t care about Walmart but I’d love a good, familiar place to eat!

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